"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For, “In just a little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay.” And, “But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back." But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.
Tonight feels just about perfect. Why do you ask? Let me break down the perfectness of this moment :)
*We in NE, find ourselves in a little blizzard. And by little I mean pretty big. I have a job that doesn't do the snow-day thing, so I worked a full day today, which makes being home now, in my sweat pants -- warm and snug -- all the more sweeter.
*I have discovered Whole Foods bulk Bath Salt. Soaking in a Peppermint Sea Salt bath on a frigid night is my new go-to stress relief. It is GLORIOUS. Cold white wine, and hot relaxing peppermint water. Sweet mercy, I'm all over this.
*Tombstone is on AMC tonight. I love westerns. Probably to an unhealthy level. The cowboy marathons on tv can suck me in for hours and it just so happens one of the very best is on tonight, during our little blizzard. Bliss.
*I've eaten leftover pizza for 2 out of the 3 meals today. That's not necessarily making me happy, I just feel like it's noteworthy in this little recap of my day. :)
I'm in my big chair and this feeling of comfort and contentment is just washing over me and I'm so glad to have some time to sit and think about confidence. On a side note, the little stats bar on the blog about went off the charts today, so all of you who are snowed in must be getting a little blog time squeezed into your snow days too. Love it.
This week's verse on confidence is one of my new favorites I think. I discovered it a few weeks ago when I was listening to a sermon in church. The minister was preaching out of the next chapter in Hebrews and I happened to look back on the page and it just jumped out at me! Mostly cause I'm on the look out for confidence in the Bible, but also just how he says it.
"So do not throw away your confidence..."
What do you throw away your confidence on?
I have been thinking about this quite a bit and I think we can break down our roles and our different areas of life to analyze this a little bit. Go with me here...
I am a confident daughter. I cherish my relationship with my parents and I am so secure in my role in this part of my life. I don't second guess my worthiness of this position. I know I am valued as a part of my parent's family. I'm pretty confident in this section of life. In fact, I just had a fabulous weekend with my Mom where we did Omaha up right. We hit some malls, some crafty places, some restaurants and even the Orpheum -- oh yes, we chim chim cheroo-ed with Marry Poppins. :)
I am a confident boss. Possibly overly confident. In my job, I am in a leadership position over others. I manage my own time as well as their's and I enjoy being able to give people direction and guidance. I feel as though I have worked long and hard to earn my seniority and people that have been doing the same job as me for 17 plus years call to ask me questions. I'm really speaking to my role as a leader, and I feel pretty confident. (I feel like it should be noted that I am in retail, and I am very very not confident in regards to the economy and how that effects my job --- that's another story though)
I am a confident friend. I love love love my friends. I have cherished relationships that I never doubt for a second where I stand with my friends. I don't worry about whether or not I do a good job at being a friend and I don't worry about whether or not my friends will still love me in 10 years. I'm confident that I'm loved and I'm confident that I'm valued. It's a blessing and I'm so so thankful for the body of believers I have as friends. This last week at church they were talking about the word "hallelujah" and how it means that you have so much joy springing up in your soul that you just have to have a word to say to give Him praise. I stood in my little row at church and just praised Him for the place of worship I get to call my church home.
I am a confident child of God. I am so so aware of how much I need His grace, and How much he is willing to just cover me in it. I am forever indebted to Him for the pit he pulled me up out of-- I am confident that Jesus saves. I am so so convinced of this and I really like telling other people about it too. I'm gaining some confidence on that front I think.
Here's where it stops though...
I am so incredibly not confident when it comes to romantic relationships. I am not a confident girlfriend. Not for a second. I had a somewhat joking but not really joking conversation with a friend on New years -- I was telling her about how one time I was caught off guard by seeing a guy I had been emailing with for a few weeks at an event, and I was so unsure about what to do that I pretended not to know him. Even when people introduced us again, I pretended I didn't know who he was. Upon hearing this story, she said something along the lines of how can you have so much trouble with this area when you're so normal everywhere else... Which sounds bad as I type this, but I didn't take it that way at all. It's so spot on. My confidence is absolutely zapped in dating relationships. I can even take it a step further. I'm perfectly fine on a first date. It's the 5th, 6th and 7th where I begin to doubt if I have anything to offer a relationship and I freak out. I throw away my confidence....what the heck??
You want to put your confidence to an absolute test??? Try blind-dating in your late twenties. :) I have accepted the fact that the way I meet my future husband will probably be through some sort of referral. And thus, the blind dates. I am done with the bar scene, and the crazies you meet there are only good for a few stories and then you are really just left with said crazy person. Case in point, you cannot base a relationship on someone who does a top notch Michael Jackson karaoke performance. You just can't. I've tried. Meeting someone at church is also tricky because just walking up to someone you don't know who "appears" to be single and introducing yourself cold turkey has a desperate smack to it and I'm not quite ready to be that girl. :)
So I'm open to the "You're a nice girl, you should go out with so and so" or the "You know who's a nice guy...." or even "My husbands cousins neighbors co-worker is single, I should set you guys up sometime" ---as much as it hurts my pride to need people to somewhat do this part for me, I've decided to be ok with it. I've tapped out my own resources and am glad to have some help.
So back to confidence .... In the list I just made for you all, I only identified one area that I feel blatantly insecure in --- so I'm sure there are other areas I could dive into, but for the sake of math, let's say I'm confident in 4 out of 5 parts of my life. But do you know that if you asked me if I was a confident person I would say no?? Why on earth is it that the one part of my life that I throw away my confidence on, overshadows every other area that I feel secure about? The majority should rule right? I don't have any answers yet, just putting some of this together in my head is helping me get there I think.
Here's what I do know. Anywhere you find confidence in the Bible there's always a He or a Him nearby. Whether you look back a little bit, or look forward a little bit, confidence is always tied to Him ---And the He or the Him is always Jesus. The part of who you are that gains confidence by being loved by Jesus, trumps every other area of your life. Throw out the math, or any justification you may have on the other parts because that one piece of your life is what makes everything else possible. How do you get it to translate to everywhere else? Beats me. I'm working on it. How do I know that I am worth it in a relationship and totally able to do it --- just because Jesus loves me and that's where I gain my confidence? I will keep you posted, cause I'm so not sure.
This has got to not just be me right? Does everyone have an area of their life that they throw away their confidence on that makes life as a whole seem pretty insecure?
This portion of scripture goes on to tell us that we need our confidence because we will need to persevere through life. Amen to that huh? I'm finding that if God tells us we need something, he will often provide it for us as well. In the Bible, we are told that all we have to do to get a little wisdom is to ask for it. Plain and simple. Ask and you shall receive. And what if confidence is like wisdom? Maybe we should be asking for it a little more? I'm going to try.
The final part of these verses tells us:
But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.
Quit acting like that, when you are really like this. I'm on the team that has faith and is saved! The phrase "shrink back" rings so true to me, and I would guess to you too. It's a word picture of how I respond in situations where I'm not confident --- and this verse tells me that I don't belong in that boat!
Tonight may be a perfect example of me oversharing on the internet....oh well.... I've got to assume other people feel this way too and I'm up for starting the thoughts turning in your heads. :)
Much love to you all on this snowy night! Praying for all of our confident hearts.
Beth
Ok, because you asked me to comment I will try. I do not feel confident about much in my life, I'd say. At least not at this moment, for some reason. A reason I could not pinpoint for you. I "know" God loves me & I love him. I "know" Jake loves me & I love him. I "know" I'm a competent employee. I "know" that I have good, solid friendships. But there's still something inside of me that second guesses, over analyzes, and doubts all of that at different times. And probably mostly because I hesitate to be OVER confident since I think that usually leads to failure. I used to think I was a strong woman and proud of it. But lately a friend & I have been questioning that about ourselves - is that a good thing? Should we be so "A" type in our personalities? Does it run roughshod over people too much? And I like that kind of self-reflection because it constantly calls into question preconceived ideas so that you're not missing something in the end. Something important about yourself that others see but you're blinded to by over confidence. I know there's a balance there somewhere, and I'm "confident" I'll figure it out someday. In the meantime, I'm mostly content about my level of confidence. Maybe that's a cop out, I don't know.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think that when the right relationship comes along, you'll be more confident in yourself about it. I've been in enough bad relationships (and now a good one) to know the difference. But when I was in them, I wouldn't have been able to tell. However, I do think it's good for you to work some of your relationship confidence issues out beforehand so that when that right relationship comes along, you're ready.
Love, love, love this blog AND you!!
Oh Cari --- the thought of being genuinely over confident and then failing hadn't occurred to me yet in reference to what I've been reading. Oh dear. Yet another facet. And as far as other people's interpretation of our confidence, I had not even registered that in my brain either.... good stuff to think about! :)
ReplyDeleteI thought this blogger's post said something interesting about confidence (toward the end especially): http://www.theveryworstmissionary.com/2011/02/this-should-be-interesting.html
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