Week 45 --- Mark 10:51-52

“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. The blind man said, “Lord, I want to see.” “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

First of all, I have been living in a world where we hold hands and pray for someone to have restored sight, much like this scripture. My mom has had lots of trouble with her eyes, and this has brought about several surgeries over the years. This past month they discovered a hole in her retina which was causing her to not see things clearly. To correct this they inject a nitrogen gas bubble into her eye, and then she lays face down for 14 days so that the gas bubble will "float" to the back of her eye and apply pressure to the surface, pushing the hole closed. It is a patience-requiring, pride-swallowing, uncomfortable siege towards healing.

Sometimes when God asks us to walk by faith and not by sight, he really really means he wants you to walk by faith and not by sight. Isn't it so wildly amazing and crazy that I asked the same man to restore my mom's sight, as Bartimaeus did in that verse???? I know that's pretty much the basis of our belief in the Bible as truth, but I still think it's pretty amazing that the same God that gave Esther strength, and Bartimaeus faith and Bathsheba forgiveness is the same God that gives me strength and forgiveness and hope. Crazy.

 It seems to me that anytime blindness is mentioned in the Bible, it's always an opportunity for Jesus to perform a miracle. It's sole purpose in being mentioned is to set the scene for God to be glorified. What other obstacles look like that in our lives? The only reason I'm going through this is to set the scene for God to show up and receive the honor for making things right. Hmmmmmm.

All of the equipment that my mom rented to get through this process came from a company who's slogan is "Face Down for a Brighter Tomorrow"... Implying the journey of being face down is providing healing and hope for better eye sight in the future.  

Face down for a brighter tomorrow... I've been struggling a lot lately with believing in the goodness of God. It sounds so awful to even say it out loud. I realized I had a problem when a friend was driving in bad weather on icy roads and asked me to pray for her. I said yes, but in my mind I thought I am the last person you want to ask to pray for something. God will probably teach me about patience or strength by letting something happen to you. I just had this awful feeling that God is not going to do what I ask, He's going to find the hardest way possible for me to learn something. Which is not bad, but it's not fun either.

Once I pinpointed these thoughts going through my head it just broke my heart. And I'm sure it was a slap in the face to God too. But it's how I really felt. I shared with a few friends that I'm tired of finding the silver lining, of looking for the good in the crappy --- I would just like something genuinely and simply good to happen. Not even something big, just something good! I'm still praying through a lot of this. There are so many scriptures that talk about the goodness of God, and a lot of times His goodness is mentioned with His mercy. Not diving into that yet :) Still thinking about it...

So face down to a brighter tomorrow. Goodness of God. Lots of rambling tonight. But I think it might all be related. And this may have all come together for me at a little outting I like to call The Concert Event of a Lifetime.

Oh yes. The Judds Farewell Encore Tour. Not to be confused with The Judds Final tour that occurred 15 years ago. My mom said it best-- that this was "A Once, no Twice in a lifetime opportunity. And we were there both times" She took me to that first tour when I was a kid and it was the first time I'd ever been to a "real concert" :)

As we walked in and started taking pictures with our 'awesome' t-shirt and waited for the show to start I had this feeling of goodness come over me. When the music started I could not help but smile. And I fully and completely understand how lame and random this love of the Judds is --- much like my secret love for this show --- however I just need to own it. My face hurt from smiling so much. That's the best kind of goodness I think.

We put this outting on the calendar so Mom would have something to look forward to after being face down. Even though we had to go through something to get to this point I think it still counts as something good. Maybe making it even more sweeter. To come through something and stand on the other side of it knowing that God's strength and protection helped you get there --- I think that's a taste of His goodness.

So you know that I stood with the entire audience, and you know that I put my hands up in the air, because when they sing Love Can Build a Bridge, you really believe it! And as I stood with my Mom giving each other looks back and forth because we just knew they would end the show with this and we just knew it would be spectacular --- I had this feeling of thankfulness and goodness that this week we're standing here together when the last time I saw her she was still face down, hoping for a brighter tomorrow.

Propping up your awesome Cowboy boots on the empty seat in front of you? Icing on the cake. ;)

The second part I love about this verse is Jesus' question at the beginning.

What do you want me to do for you?

I've been trying to pray whenever the thought enters my head--- that God I want to see your goodness. I want to experience things that leave me know doubt in my mind that you want good things for me. What can you do for me? You can give me the strength to remain confident in that--- even when I don't feel it. You can give me hope to tell others of the goodness I've experienced --- even if I don't fully understand it.

Looking forward to sharing some thoughts on Christmas in the coming weeks! Hope you all are doing well! Beth