Let me take you back....
I am all about crash dieting. I know it's wrong, and people really question it when I do it, but I get results. I like it quick and dirty. Why stretch something out for a month when I can accomplish it in 5 days??? I put absolutely no value in how many pounds I weigh. I would say I haven't stepped on a scale in probably 7 years. I hate the number. Most of the time I feel pretty confident about how I look. I'm comfortable with the size I wear and I really like my shape and proportions. I think the actual number of how many pounds I weigh is waaaaay more than how I feel, so why on earth would I want to keep tabs on that??? I do not. So I judge my dieting and success of weight loss by how my clothes fit. I can tell when the waistband feels a little looser and that's when I've hit my mark. When I crash diet, it is never to establish a new lifestyle, it's just to drop some weight so I feel better in my current size. P.S. my method is nothing fancier than total elimination of carbohydrates and sugar. Simple as that.
So that's a little background on how I have operated in the past. This past month I have been at my new job -- which has been a lifestyle change as I am now sitting at a desk.
I used to run around the store all day, thus keeping my energy levels higher and burning more calories. I have been terrified to gain weight because of my new sedintary role.
pic I took for my mom to show her my suit --- SUIT UP!
So to prevent that, I've been exercising. A lot. I go the gym several nights a week and work out and have actually been enjoying it. Plus, now that I don't run around at work all day, I actually have energy to go work out and it has been wonderful. I've been making pretty good eating choices, but still indulging on sweets and stuff pretty frequently.
So back to this past Tuesday when I got dressed and liked how I felt in my outfit --- I did it without crash dieting, it had to have been the exercising???? Not only did I feel thinner, I felt stronger. I did it the right way. Which is so darn encouraging that now I want to be even more active.
So I had a rough week emotionally this past week which got me thinking....
Oh my goodness......I am a Spiritual Crash Dieter.............. Crap.
I wait til things get a little rough or a little out of hand, and then I freak out and try to quickly make up for my excess. I'm not saying this is all bad. I know exactly what podcasts, what verses, and what songs will instantly encourage me and I go straight to those. But why do I wait til my soul is bone dry and then try to dump so much inspiration on it to try and make up for it?
I'm learning from exercise. It's a slow and steady process of working a muscle. Now my muscles are sooooo far from perfect, but there's some strength in my arms that wasn't there before. Strength that would never come from a crash diet.
What does my soul feel like when I feed it with a steady and consistent stream of scripture and worship over a long period of time versus a quick weekend of great podcasts???
Here's the other thing about exercise --- it hurts. My arms, legs and abs still hurt after I work out. Not as much as they used to, but there's still some tenderness as I stretch them and try to make them do more. I think there might be some similarities in our walk with God. Sometimes getting stronger and more secure in the Lord takes you through some painful processes. I get that. Oh do I get that. I think I get frustrated with that more than anything else. I assume that once I learn something or go through something I shouldn't have to deal with that again,. The pain should be done. But it's a continual process of God strengthening a specific set of muscles that you are going to need for something. I'm pretty sure.
So I think my very honest question of the day is this..... when does it stop hurting?? And I don't really know the answer to that. I know that God's plan is sovereign and I know that He loves me more than anything, and I know that he would never waste any sort of pain, so in the end it's all going to work out--- But in the meantime? I think for me that answer to this question is in my response. If I would stop fighting Him and start trusting Him, I would feel a lot less dissappointment and discouragement when my own plans don't work out.
“Because of this, in fact, I suffer as I do. But I am not ashamed, because I know the one in whom my faith is set and I am convinced that He is able to protect what has been entrusted to me until that day.” 2 Timothy 1:12 The NET Bible
Love you all! have a great week!! --Beth
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