Week 18 --- Philippians 4:12

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Week 17 --- James 4:7-10

"So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet."

I found this verse when i was looking for something to meditate on about humility. I heard last week that humility can be understood as the opposite of entitlement. I think I have a pretty entitled attitude about a lot of stuff. I think I deserve a certain amount of respect, affection and sleep in any given day.

I love that part of this verse where it says hit bottom and cry your eyes out. Man I do that a lot. I'm glad that God knows my heart, and loves me even when I'm a mess... which is like 75% of the time lately :) It did me wonders when it finally clicked in my head that God is not interested in what I think is the right answer. He wants to know how I really feel and what I really think, even if acknowledging those thoughts makes me cry my eyes out. Man He's good. His quiet and consistent pursuit of me this winter has been a big lesson. Feeling blessed tonight. :)

Week 16 --- Ezekiel 36:26

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.



I've been thinking about what in life gives us a heart of stone. There's so much junk that goes on in the world and so many things that do't go as we plan. I think i've decided that a heart of stone is caused by bitterness. Failed relationships, unfulfilled dreams, unmet expectations, a long stretch of just average-ness... puts bitterness in our hearts and I think it starts to layer up if we don't do something about it. I also have been challenged in my life that confrontations and discussions that are difficult to have with those you love, need to happen or bitterness is left in its place. Even just the word bitter leaves an unpleasent feeling. There's a singer that I really like, who is
very much a "crooner", and she sings a song called Bitter Heart. It's quite the little novelty song, but it has some good lines.

Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside

Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,

Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile,

Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine, of mine.

---Zee Avi

So with all this talk of bitterness, I want to know what to do to fix it. I'm constantly understanding spiritual terms better by learning their opposites. I may have mentioned this before. I really think the opposite of bitterness is forgiveness. And according to my learning of how I've let bitterness into my life, I think it also involves expression. So express and forgive. As easy as that. :) I think that's going to look really different in certain situations, but when I think of things, mostly relationships that have left me feeling bitter, I think an honest conversation and a relinquishing of my white-knuckle grip of anger on the situation and it begins the start of healing. I read a quote one time that bitterness is like drinking poison and then waiting for someone else to die. All it does is harm you.

To take this back to the original scripture it says that God will take our heart of stone from us and give us a new heart. Praise him for that!! I mean seriously. I feel like the only way I'm going to change sometimes is if he will flat out take the thing that's hurting me away from me. But he doesn't just take the old, he gives the new. And he will do it daily/hourly if that's what we need. I'm going to try to be more aware and thankful of the new heart that he has given me. It's His grace and love that I've been given that makes me want to express and forgive and not waste my time living a life with a heart of stone.

Week 15 --- I'm all over Job this week.... :)

I've been reading through Job this morning and it has been an enlightening journey. I think what separates us and Job is that he was a faultless man. His distress, and all his problems are such a shock to him, since he hasn't done anything wrong. I think his argument with God is the "why me, I didn't do anything wrong". Most of us could make a list a mile long of all the things we've done wrong and why we deserve trials. But not Job. I listed several of the verses that stuck out to me in this book. Some of them are the words of encouragement that his "friends" offer him ... but the ones I that I really really like are Job's honest moments of calling out to God in his frustration. I definitely read this in the Message, but my FAVORITE verse out of this collection is when Job is saying, I can't even pull myself up by my bootstraps, cause I don't even have any boots!!!!! I have found myself shouting that saying...in my apt, in my car ... "Why I don't even have any boots!" And I think God gets it. :) I didn't make it through the whole book of Job yet, but I plan to keep going, I kind of want to see how this resolves....32 chapters of a dude describing his frustrations with his life. That's serious stuff.

Job 5:17-19 "So, what a blessing when God steps in and corrects you! Mind you, don't despise the discipline of Almighty God!True, he wounds, but he also dresses the wound; the same hand that hurts you, heals you.From one disaster after another he delivers you; no matter what the calamity, the evil can't touch you—

Job 6:11-13 Where's the strength to keep my hopes up? What future do I have to keep me going?Do you think I have nerves of steel? Do you think I'm made of iron?Do you think I can pull myself up by my bootstraps? Why, I don't even have any boots! :)

Job 8:20-22 "There's no way that God will reject a good person, and there is no way he'll help a bad one.God will let you laugh again; you'll raise the roof with shouts of joy,With your enemies thoroughly discredited, their house of cards collapsed."

Job 11:13-20 "Still, if you set your heart on God and reach out to him,If you scrub your hands of sin and refuse to entertain evil in your home,You'll be able to face the world unashamed and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless.You'll forget your troubles; they'll be like old, faded photographs.Your world will be washed in sunshine, every shadow dispersed by dayspring.Full of hope, you'll relax, confident again; you'll look around, sit back, and take it easy.Expansive, without a care in the world, you'll be hunted out by many for your blessing.But the wicked will see none of this. They're headed down a dead-end road with nothing to look forward to—nothing."

Week 14 --- Isaiah 61:3

...and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

Week 13 --- Ephesians 1:7-9

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ...

Week 12 --- Romans 6:22-23

But now that you've found you don't have to listen to sin tell you what to do, and have discovered the delight of listening to God telling you, what a surprise! A whole, healed, put-together life right now, with more and more of life on the way! Work hard for sin your whole life and your pension is death. But God's gift is real life, eternal life, delivered by Jesus, our Master.

This verse of Amazing Grace really stood out to me in church this morning:

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

What a great promise to listen to, especially when life doesn't feel particularly good. I've decided i'm pretty bossy with my praying --- I like to tell God exactly what to do in my life, and particularly what he should do that would make me most happy. I like how that verse talks about "the delight of listening to God telling you..." His good is so much better than my good.