Week 51 --- Luke 2:33-35

This child marks both the failure and
the recovery of many in Israel,
A figure misunderstood and contradicted—the pain of a sword-thrust through you—
But the rejection will force honesty,
as God reveals who they really are.

Ok team, I am dangerously close to leaving this 52 verse adventure hanging because I can't think of anything insightful to say about week 51.... I am soooooo prone to leaving things unfinished, which I'll tell you about next week, so I'm going to just duke this out and see what happens :)

This past Christmas I was really trying to figure out who Jesus was --- which I have a pretty good idea, but scripture is full of things that I had no idea were even in there, so I like to be on the look out. 

One thing that stuck out is the term Immanuel -- God with us. Do you think he could have accomplished His will in Heaven without coming to be with us? Absolutely. Did he do it anyway? Yes. And he would have done that just for me. I'm so overwhelmed with the fact that after everything I have done and everything I'll probably still do, God still wants to be with me. He wants to know what I think. He wants to know my heart. Just crazy. God with us. 

This scripture I thought was particularly interesting. It's Simeon's blessing over Jesus. "This child marks both the failure and the recovery of many in Israel..." I am so blessed to be sitting on the recovery side of this statement. My church just started offering a program called Celebrate Recovery and I could not be more proud to attend a church that welcomes people that struggle. I've been thinking a lot about the phrase celebrate recovery and it really is something to celebrate. We celebrate birthdays every year, and what have we really done to accomplish that? Now recovery....standing on the other side of something that had complete control over you, and walking victoriously...that is something to celebrate. If you have found yourself in a place in life where some sin had a complete and utter stronghold on you, you know what I mean. It is only by being broken and accepting grace that we allow Jesus to rescue us from our messes. It makes me want to put my hands up in the air and praise Him for where I am today versus where I was a few years ago. I was talking with a friend about the woman who was caught in adultery and thrown before Jesus. She asked me if I was that woman, would I still look back and feel guilty about the things that I had done? I said yes for sure I would, but what would stick out in my mind the most was that crazy day where I should have been stoned and that man saved me. It just makes me smile thinking of this woman cleaning her house or going about her work and just shaking her head wondering if that really happened to her? 

Grace is hard to accept isn't it? It's so hard for us to fathom that not only do we struggle to believe it for ourselves, but we withold it from others for the same reason. I know I've said this on this blog before, but when I was just stuck in sin, I was talking with a friend and I remember telling her that if grace really is real, then it is just too good to be true. Especially for someone like me. But here's the thing ---- that is when I really started to understand Jesus more, a little bit anyway. Grace is so so so much more than we deserve, and the moment we start to wrap our minds around that, is when we start to see how much Jesus loves us. While we were still trying to get our act together, while we were still trying to be good enough, while we were still choosing to live a life full of sin, while we were still 'fill in your blank', Christ died for us.

I think we struggle to offer Grace to others also, in that our churches are full of people keeping secrets because they fear what will happen to them if they tell. I don't know how people determine that they are in a place to judge others, but man does it happen. Sometimes I find myself judging people for judging people if that makes sense?

I'm both encouraged and fearful of the statement "But the rejection will force honesty, as God reveals who they really are." I pray daily that God will change my heart to be more like His, but an all out revealing of who I really am....yikes... I don't want that on the front page of anything. However here's the other part, I have been deeply hurt by someone in my past and I often wonder what happens about that. This could be way out in left field but see if you can get this with me... I know that God forgives all sins, and I know that that even includes the ones that were done to me. So as much as I want justice and some sort of finality to that, I know that I am part of a faith that offers grace and forgiveness to everyone. But still. What about that stuff that was done to me, that no one is sorry about, and that not a lot of people are even aware happened. I feel like this verse encourages me to know that Jesus sees a persons true heart and how they accept and offer His grace really does reveal who they really are.... I don't know if any of that makes sense, just some thoughts running through my head.

This whole post has gotten pretty heavy.

Let me lighten things up by sharing some of the other things I find running through my head on this random Wednesday in January :)

I need one of these buttons in the real life...

"There are no more possible moves. What do you want to do?" Particularly in regards to relationships. I just need a button to pop up and say, "Seriously, you have done enough, and there are really no more moves, you should walk away". Hahaha, this probably could apply to a lot in my life.

I'm also making a mental list of things that I have no idea how I ever lived without them.

Pandora. Seriously. I'm not a big enough fan to pay for the service yet, but I have this on probably every moment that I'm in my apt. What did I do before??

Keurig Coffee. It's quick. It's simple. It's made for one person. I had a k-cup sized hole in my heart that has now been filled.

Allrecipes.com --- do you guys use this? Here's how this goes. I type into the search engine whatever it is I want, and then I sort the results by how many people have commented on it. My thinking is that if 1,000 people take the time to say something nice about a recipe, it's probably pretty good. This plan is working. I have found some amazing stuff, including the Creme Brulee Cheesecake bars seen here. 

I've also been thinking a lot about people's understanding of Redemption and what Women's ministry looks like in any given church. But I'm going to save these topics for later. 

I'm hoping your January finds you content with the slower time of the year and anticipating what all might happen in the coming months. Hope everyone is doing well out there. Love to you all. Beth  

Week 50 --- Psalm 27:13

I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

I have to give you a preview of what I want to do in 2011 -- which is pretty much all coming from God's speaking to me through this verse. I'm interested in confidence. I'd like to get some at some point in my life. :) Do you know that there is nothing in God's word that would lead any of us to believe that we should be insecure about anything? Confident. I'm in.

I have a dear friend that has challenged herself to memorize the book of Philippians. That's big. But when I heard her talk about it, I got to thinking that I really carry some baggage around in my mind. Like a lot of it. And what better way to replace it, than to literally shove it out by filling it with an entire book of the Bible? I thought about this a lot, and tried to think of a book I could memorize over the next year and didn't really come up with anything specific. What I did do is read Psalm 27 at some point everyday, kind of accidentally and not with any purpose in mind. Surely this isn't an accident? So I've decided to commit this chapter to memory. There are 13 verses and the passage that I selected as week 50 here is the bookend on the tail end of the chapter. I am on day 2 and loving it. I have some time at work where I don't talk to anyone, and I am alone with my thoughts. I have got to assume you have moments like this in your day too? I have been repeating my memorization over and over in my head. Especially in moments when I'm tempted to dwell or stress on something, instead I say "the Lord is my light and my salvation, of whom should I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?" You had better believe I just typed that from memory! Hallelujah. Check this out -- I can keep going: "When evil men advance against me to devour me, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall" And that's all I got so far, and I may have had to double check that last part and correct it, but still! I'm liking it!

I've been thinking a lot about this past year. And I've also noticed that it is pretty much a socially-expected norm on a blog to post a year in review of sorts. I'm not quite ready to do that, but I have been thinking back a lot and want to share some things. I said a few posts back that I often find myself starting a new year just wanting do things differently, but this year I do think that I have some things that I am proud of from this past year. One of which is God zapping almost every ounce of pride right out of me--- So without being prideful, I want to do a little boasting in the Lord.

1. I helped a friend build something. Sometimes I get pretty down on myself for not accomplishing more. My job is pretty simple and I often wonder if I should be doing something different or taking more risks. For me personally, I have not done anything huge recently, but I have been there for my friends that have.

My good friend started a business this past year, and I have felt priviledged to be someone she can count on. It's been a long go of it for her, but I have loved serving her and her family by helping out. It's kept me busy on days that I had too much time on my hands to dwell on unnecessary things, and has given me a family here in Omaha that I dearly love.

2. I got help. There is a time to throw up the white flag my friends, and for me that was this past year. I found a woman who counseled me with scripture and helped me discover God in new ways. Dena spoke scriptures to me that showed me how the Bible brings healing. Admitting that you don't have it all together is a huge step. Or in my case a very very very huge step. God broke my heart and has put it back together in new ways that I am forever grateful.

3. Took a step in faith. My dad started a new ministry. And when he first mentioned it to me I was pretty fearful. But I had just spent a week in Mexico where they had been singing this song that I could not stop thinking about. The song is called La Montana and its message is that if you, in faith, say to a mountain move, it will move. And the way that they sing this song, I truly believe they could do it. My dad's ministry is to International Students and I think the next 10 years are going to be full of extra seats set at holiday dinners for people from other countries. I am blessed to be a part of this. Blessed. 

These are some Korean students making Gim-Bop, a sushi-esque dish in my parent's kitchen.

These are a few pics from the graduation reception my family hosted for our Korean family member, Jaekuen.

4. Stop drinking out of the Don't Panic mug. This mug is pictured in my little Blog Banner and I really do love it --- but in the past year I have made it to a place where my best attempt at life is stronger than to simply not panic.

Does that make sense? I hope so. I have lived in the grip of anxiety for a long time. But I think there's more out there for me than just living a life absent of fear. God provides. I know this. I bought that mug for the message and I thought that it was just an individual gem --- well come to find out it's part of a set. What message will I "drink out of" this year? I can't wait to decide. A life where fear does not plague you offers you TONS more options. ****If you're drinking out of the Don't Panic mug still, I love you to death, and I know what it's like-- There is hope and healing in Jesus and He never intended for you to live like that, email me if you need more direction in scripture to come out of this!  

5. Get it out into the Light! I love this Blog. It might be what I'm most proud of from the past year. Scripture meditation was something I had read one thing about and somehow decided I wanted to try--- 52 weeks later here I am --- feeling privileged to have spent that time seeking Him in His word. If you are one of the people that reads this blog, I am so so thankful for you. You encourage me just by letting me know I can ramble off some thoughts and someone might get something out of it. Oh I'm thankful for you. It helps me understand things if I can write them out, and you have helped me discover that. I officially have 4 followers, and two of them are Jeanne. I absolutely love it. :)

6. I made friends with Esther. I think I always knew scripture was a critical part of my faith, but it never came alive to me like it did this past year studying Esther. I feel like I know her, and I feel like I lived life in those pages of my Bible. I shared with some friends that finishing that book and moving the little ribbon thing out of the pages was a sad thing for me --- I didn't want it to end. Isn't it amazing that the same God that gave Esther courage and wit is the same God that gives me strength? It blows my mind. I am forever grateful for Esther's place in history and how I needed to discover it in the year 2010, for such a time as this. Gives me chills.

7. Embracing Mercy. God's mercy surrounds us so much and I'm pretty convinced we have no idea how much we are spared from things. I watched my mom hug a woman's whose son committed suicide on Tuesday this week. We had never met this woman but my brother was good friends with Hans. My mother, full of a tender grace that she has been blessed with, brought this woman a meal and offered her sympathies.

I stood and stared thinking how I would feel if a stranger brought soup to my mom if she was in this situation and it just broke my heart. God thank you for being the protector of my family. Help me to pray for salvation over safety everyday.

8. Grow a Backbone. I found myself in situations this past year that absolutely required me to determine who I am. I am a hot mess. :) Fully knowing that I have no power to save myself and that Jesus is the stronghold of my life is so so clear to a person that doesn't have it all together. I would not trade this perspective for anything.

 I mentioned that God has zapped quite a bit of pride out of me and it has left me with a heart for people that also aren't perfect. I love people that are real --- people that are down in the trenches of real issues and owning it --- who are we trying to fool here? We've got problems. Let's get them out into the light and help each other.

9. I told the truth. Whoa Nelly. If you are one of my friend's that stood by me through this I am so so thankful for you. You are my cloud of witnesses and encouraged me to throw off everything that hinders and run this stinking race. Hallelujah!

10. Speaking of my Cloud of Witnesses.... I am so blessed with women (and a few men) in my life that love Jesus and challenge me in my journey. 

They are who I find myself going through life with and I love them dearly. The cloud has expanded to include a Sunday night Bible study of women that cross my mind all the time. I have loved sharing and growing and just being with these ladies. They are precious to me, and challenge me to a new level of faith that I am just starting to explore.  

I remain confident, that I have seen the goodness of God in 2010 and will continue to discover Him in new crazy ways in 2011. I cannot wait.

Week 49 --- Revelation 19:6-8

Then I heard again what sounded like the shout of a vast crowd or the roar of mighty ocean waves or the crash of loud thunder:

“Praise the Lord!
For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns.
Let us be glad and rejoice,
and let us give honor to him.
For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb,
and his bride has prepared herself.
She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.”

I'm still in the process of breaking down my holiday's spiritual learnings from the past month. I think that the Hallelujah chorus may have been one of the cooler things that I noticed this Christmas. One Sunday at work, over the shoppers, the soundtrack, the hustle bustle I heard the Hallelujah chorus being sung somewhere in the mall. I was so struck by how strong and clear it was over the rest of the craziness. So I did a little reading....

Handel, the composer of the Hallelujah Chorus was a loner. He was a man that stuck to himself and didn't have a lot of friends or family. He wrote lots of musical pieces in his life, but it seems to me that this is probably the most noteworthy. I read a worthy source that said "There is another story told about this chorus that Handel's assistant walked in to Handel's room after shouting to him for several minutes with no response. The assistant reportedly found Handel in tears, and when asked what was wrong, Handel held up the score to this movement and said, "I thought I saw the face of God." I bet he really did. If the way my heart feels when I hear it is any indication of the power of that music, I really think he did.

Come to find out....

Before you watch this video, you need to scroll down to the very very bottom of the page and pause the blog music. I almost insist you watch this :)

This was happening in the malls that day....

I don't talk about the Westroad's shooting very often, but seeing this video in that place makes me think of so many things.

The day that sticks out in my mind is the day before the whole shooting, I think that would have been December 4th. I went to work like any other day, only eeeeeeverything ticked me off. No one took the trash out the night before, people showing up late for work, by noon I was at my absolute max for tolerating anything. And these weren't even big things...just where I was at that day. So I end up getting the heck out of there for my lunch break and I just drove til I ended up at a Sonic somewhere. I pulled out my little green purse Bible and just started looking for anything. My friend Amy had been so blessed by the words in scripture that talk about the armor of God, and had been mentioning it often at that point in the year, so I turned there and started reading that in Ephesians 6. Knowing now what was coming up the next day makes this scripture so so precious to me now.

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

  So I go back to work, and finish my day no problem. I come in to work the next day and it is oddly normal compared to how stressed I was the day before. I go through the morning and am on my lunch break talking to my mom on the phone in my office. One of the girls that works for me came running back saying they heard gunshots and people were running. (How much do you not want to be talking to your kid on the phone to overhear this conversation? Ugg...Laurie Sue is a tough cookie) So I go up to the front of my store, for sure people are in a panic and running and no one knows what's going on. I step out into the mall to see if I can see anything and have no idea what is really happening. So I lock my store. I lower the gate and decide this is our best defense. At this point I don't know if it's just a fight or a rumor or even something to be worried about.

This whole time I have about 12 women in my store, and they are not happy that I have now locked them in. They are all on their little cell phones, informing me that people at Younkers are being allowed to leave and I should just let them out. My phone has been ringing this whole time with people calling and asking what's going on, as well as a local tv station that would like to do a "quick interview" ....Are you kidding me?!

One of the phone calls from the tv station was to tell me there's a "gunman roaming the mall in camouflage carrying a shotgun...how do you feel about that?" The women in the store are getting calls from people at home that are watching tv and are hearing the news reporting that there are 60 people dead in the mall.

I don't know what to do.

So I text a half a dozen people to start praying and I go back out and move everyone to the back of the store. I seat everyone in a back hallway and tell them we're not leaving until we know what's going on. They continue to get calls from people who are telling them what they're seeing on tv, and I think I walked away from this whole experience hating the media more than ever. Once everyone is behind the wall at the back of the store, I go back to my office and shut the door. I had been studying with some friends about believing God and there was a statement we said at the beginning of every meeting. So I put one hand on my heart and the other one up in the air and I said this 5 statement pledge:

1. God, You are who You say you are
2. God, You can do what You say You can do
3. God, I am who You say I am
4. God, I can do all things through You
5. Your WORD is alive and living in Me

I'm believing God. (Those who did this study with me are totally doing the actions now right?) :)

It's more than a belief in God. I believe Him. You have to be believing Him to do what He says he can do. It's an active thing that you do. And sometimes that means believing he will protect you and give you the words to say to scared people in a crazy situation. So with my reassurance that God will work through me, and with my feet fitted with the readiness of peace I went back out and waited.

I would wear the keys to my store on a lanyard that hung around my neck, and that day was no different. I was standing behind the wall when men started shouting through the gate to open the door. Keep in mind that we had no idea what was happening, and we had been told gunman were roaming the mall, so when someone shouts to open the gate I was probably the most scared I have ever been in my entire life. To have keys hanging around your neck that separate people that have guns, from people that don't have guns is a feeling I wouldn't wish on anyone. The thoughts going through my head were how mad a gunman would be if you didn't do what they said, and how long it would take them to get through a chain metal gate --- and what on earth that looks like once both of those things have happened. Mercy.

But I look around the wall and I see police. Hallelujah. I feel less in charge at this point. Please someone just tell me what to do. They are wanting to move us to another location so we all go up and get ready to leave. One woman had a baby with her, which in therapy after this whole ordeal ended up being one of the more upsetting things to me. A baby should never ever be in a place like this at this point. The police tell us we're going to have to run with them. I yell at another woman to help the mother with her stroller (odd huh? couldn't have just left the stroller) and I throw a blanket over the woman's baby that she's carrying. I ran next to this mother with my arm around her covering that babies head the whole time. I kind of wonder where they're at now, the baby's name was Sebastian. We run through the Westroads atrium (the very same one from the video above, that I can just hardly wait to talk to you about) where there are police with guns drawn and aimed about every 5 feet. 

They put us all in the JCPenney department store and we waited there until they told us we could leave. God bless the hide-a-key on my car, cause I ran out of that place with just my cell phone in my hand, and wouldn't have been able to get home otherwise. 

I don't know if I think about the shooting everyday, but maybe every other day. It's not something that upsets me anymore, I think a lot about how I have a God that provides and protects and how close I felt to Him in the days after. I am 100% a more sensitive person to public safety and policies and things we can do to make things like that not happen, or if they do, being ready and having a plan. But I'm sure that's normal...

But the video above --- are you ready for this --- 3 years later, a song that acknowledges God as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords is being sung in a place where violence is my strongest memory. He is so big and so sovereign and He's over all of this. 

This is God's redemption friends. 

He can take a situation that leaves us scarred and scared and reassure us that He's not done yet. Some people talk about difficult times and say that we had to go through that to learn a lesson or find God in a new way. Friends, God would never justify a shooting like that to teach me a lesson, but he will redeem it. He'll take something like that and use it to show his glory. 

That video was emailed to me a few days after Christmas and it may have been the best present I got this year. (Which is really really saying a lot, because I received a Keurig coffee maker too, and it is one of my new most favorite things) 

I hit play on that video and the tears just streamed down my face. 

The kingdom of this world, is becoming the kingdom of our Lord.

It is, isn't it!? 

King of Kings and Lord of Lords. And he shall reign forever and ever....

I am all in my friends. We are totally on the winning team here. My verse for the week above is the scripture that the Hallelujah chorus is based on, and I think it is what has blessed me most this holiday season. "Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him." I hope you had a good Christmas and I hope you saw God in new and big ways this year. I think he may have put 2500 people in a shopping mall singing a song just for me. :)

Week 48 --- Psalm 86:17

Give me a sign of your goodness,
that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for you, LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

Well, it's New Years day. I spent the last year meditating on scripture, and I can't believe it's already done. I didn't tell very many people I was doing it at first. I was pretty convinced I would lose interest or stop doing it, and less people watching you fail at something is always preferable right? But it didn't happen that way. :) In fact, I think I gained a little momentum mid-year and the way that scripture has come alive to me these past 52 weeks has been such a life-changing experience. You'll notice that my post is only on week 48 out of the 52. My process of the 52 verse year was to email out to a few friends every Sunday evening the verse that I would be focusing on that week. I started really enjoying journaling about the verses halfway through the year and would then write about them after the week was over. Sometimes it takes me more than 7 days to see how a scripture is working in my life and you hate to rush the Holy Spirit... so thus I am on week 48 ... still trying to figure out God's goodness.

I have been struggling with God's goodness. I don't doubt for one second his power or his sovereignty or his love or his ability or his plans...I just haven't felt his goodness in awhile. So I have been all over scripture trying to figure this out. You'll hopefully see more verses on this in the next few weeks, but here I am on New Years, wishing to be wiser, but still so confused. 

I have coasted into many a New Years so grateful for the fresh start. Just desperate to start over. But this year feels different. I found Jesus in new ways that have changed me forever in 2010. I accomplished some things that I am really proud of and that feels really good. So arriving at New Years, pretty much exhausted from the fight of a lifetime throughout the past year, I'm finding myself feeling sorry for myself. Don't you hate that?!? I can hardly stand it. Literally.

Let me break it down. I think I start to lose focus on Jesus when I take my eyes off of him and start looking around at other people's lives. Which goes directly against my favorite every situation, every emotion verse of "fixing my eyes on Jesus the author and perfector of my faith". But I start looking at what I see as goodness in other people's lives and then I start to get frustrated. I have felt so close to God this last year -- close like a friend, close like a protector, close like a Saviour--- and in the midst of this I feel like He and I continue to grow closer together through trials and crap. I think I feel a little weird about this because when you spend time with someone, and you enjoy being with someone, and you like to talk to someone -- wouldn't you want to do fun things together and have some good times once in awhile? Even as those words come out of my mouth I can think of a bagillion good things God and I have done together this year --- but this is my anatomy of a breakdown of a pity party, so stick with me. Back to looking at other people. I see big good things happening for people that have hurt me. And that's the harsh truth of why I'm upset. Praise Him that we are not in a life where we are rewarded or punished for our actions. I get that. Hallelujah cause I would be out for the count if that was the case, but I don't understand God's timing or plans when I feel like I've put all my eggs in His basket just to lead me to a place where I watch people that have caused me pain seem to harvest the most blessing.

Sooooooo.... Here's what I've decided on this the first day of a new year. :) It all comes down to your defenition of goodness. I went so far as to look it up. God bless the google. My favorite defenition so far is the number 5 on dictionary.com:

5. the best part of anything; essence; strength.

Determining what the best part is.... worldly, surface-level, human-understood goodness may seem evident in other people's lives, but I am trusting (I am trusting trusting trusting) that the best part of anything is God's purpose in my life. Whatever on earth that may look like. I wish I was smarter, cause I still don't get it. But when I read that defenition, and I think of the best part of my year, essence, strength --- was God a part of those things in my life -- you had better believe it.

The last part of this verse makes me tear up. For you Oh Lord have helped me and comforted me. He really has. I believe in His goodness and in His mercy and in His comfort and He has helped me in ways I'm sure I don't even understand yet.


I am praying for a year of eye-opening, rule-breaking, heart-stopping, joy-overflowing encounters for you this year. I pray that you'll know his goodness and His mercy in such personal ways this year. Isn't it such an amazing part of our faith that we don't have just the one day to start over? If New Years was all we got I'd be one sorry mess. I need a daily hourly reminder of grace and truth and that Jesus is what makes us new and that he is always with us and always willing.

Be blessed friends. Happy New Year. Beth

Week 47 --- Luke 1:5-7

In the time of Herod king of Judea there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly division of Abijah; his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron. Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly. But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old.


I love the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth. It might be up there as one of my favorites in all of scripture. The story goes that Zechariah got to go to the temple for his yearly duties as a priest. While he was there, his name was drawn out of a hat (or whatever they drew names out of back then) that signified that he got to go into a sacred place and light incense. This was his once in a lifetime chance to do this.


Back to the scripture above, where it all starts, we learn that both Zechariah and Elizabeth are good people. They try to do what's right. They observe the Lord's commands --- and at this point they would have been observing Old Testament laws, which would keep a person pretty busy trying to keep up with--- but even with their desire to do things right, they didn't have any children and this was a huge problem.


My favorite part of the scripture is just after the verses above when Zechariah is in the temple.


¹³ But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John. ¹⁴ He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, ¹⁵ for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. ¹⁶ He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. ¹⁷ And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”


I read somewhere that when Zechariah went in to light the incense he would have without a doubt prayed for the coming of the Messiah. It had been like 800 years since God had spoken to them, and they anxiously prayed and awaited his return. So this is where the story starts to really touch my heart, because I think that when Zechariah had his one chance, his one opportunity in his lifetime to pray in the temple, he was praying for Elizabeth. I don't think he even knew what to pray for her, but he knew that she had tried to do everything right and life still just hadn't worked out for her.


The story goes on to tell us that Elizabeth, who's like 80, gets pregnant and has a son. John the Baptist. After a lifetime of difficulty, God provided. I love that Zechariah's name means "the Lord remembers"


The point that hits home for me with this story is that nothings happened naturally for Zechariah and Elizabeth. While all their friends are having kids, they can't. While all their friends are having grandchilren, it's still just the two of them. I can relate with people that don't come by things naturally. And I'm not saying I have it rough, I'm just saying that if there's a difficult or hard way to do something I usually pick that, and even outside of my own decisions, I don't generally fall into great situations naturally.


But that's where it gets really cool. Since life doesn't happen naturally for these guys, they get the unbelievable and uncomparable opportunity to be a part of God providing for them supernaturally. Does that make sense? God will provide. The Lord remembers. In a life of situations that feel hard and unfair, the Lord remembers.


I've been thinking about this a lot this Christmas season. I keep hearing the song Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, and there's a certain line that I can't shake.


Next year all our troubles will be miles away...


I can't stop thinking about the people that are going through this Christmas, just hoping that next year will be a little easier. If you are one of these people, I love you. And the Lord remembers you too. My sweet single friends that know what it feels like to fall asleep alone on Christmas night, or make the humbling drive home to the family events alone. The girl that works for me that didn't know her family member that just got out of jail will be attending family Christmas this year. People that just need to put a little more distance between this year and the hard memories that are still painful to think about. The Lord Remembers. I can't promise you that next year will be better, but I can promise you He'll never forget you and how you're feeling this Christmas.


Through a random random twist of fate (or possibly Jesus lining up exactly the moment I needed this Christmas) I found myself chatting with the family of the President of Columbia's second in command secret service officer. Random huh? They brought a traditional dessert that I've had a few times in Mexico and it always makes me smile.

Apparently there's a song in Hispanic Folklore that says something like, "Rice with Milk ... I want to marry a man that can sing...." LOL! Serve it up... :)

 My dad has begun a ministry that reaches out to International Students, and Columbia has an exchange program with the university in Kearney where they send a lot of their police officers and intelligence personnel to help them learn English. We invited this non-English speaking family to our house for Christmas Eve lunch --- there family of 4 was excited to have another brother and sister visiting from Columbia for the holidays, so we had Mom, Dad, 2 kids and the brother and sister of the mom with us. They had two little girls and we tried to keep them entertained while the adults talked.

I was sitting on the floor with the kids and their mom and we tried our best to communicate through her broken english and my limited spanish. I asked about her family in Columbia and what they would be doing for the holidays. She told me that they would not be able to come visit because they had already used the visas available to them to come to the US earlier that year. She shared with me that her sister had died 5 months ago due to an infection she developed during her pregnancy.  She pointed over to the woman at the table and she told me that it was much harder for her because she was her twin sister and today was their birthday. In my best spanish I told her that I am praying for her today.

We got the little girls together in the kitchen to put a little "sopreza" together for the birthday we didn't know about --- and by sopreza I mean sticking 3 birthday candles in a christmas cookie and singing as we carried it out. As we finished the song, the tears flowed.

Celebrating your first birthday without your twin sister on Christmas Eve in a faraway country? I need to know that the Lord Remembers us in these moments.


When her sister was telling me this story she could not stop herself from saying "but our God is very big" and "we have strong God". She's the one on the end here...

And I think I can see the peace on her face. Next year all our troubles will be far away? Who knows. But if in the midst of a painful painful year, I could speak as confidently as she did (in a second language) that God provides.... I think that's the experience of a lifetime.

I have loved thinking about Zechariah and Elizabeth throughout the busy holiday season. I tend to feel pretty sorry for myself around Christmas, but their story has been a constant reminder that God provides. That even if things don't come about naturally, that just means that God has an opportunity to intervene supernaturally. I also love her name.... cause it's my name too :) If I could share in even just a tiny fraction of her faith and legacy through our common name, what a blessed woman I would be.

It's getting late on Christmas Eve and my eyes are starting to close on their own. I hope you do have yourself a merry little Christmas. I hope faithful friends who are dear to you, gather near to you, once more. :) Have a wonderful day friends!! Hope to see you all soon!

Beth

Week 46 --- Colossians 3:12-14

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.


I'm spending quite a bit of time with clothes these days.

So......Illustrations of wardrobes and garments ring so true to me. I get it. Isn't it interesting that the God of the universe can speak in ways that our simple minds can understand??


I have this dress that I bought a few years ago. It was way too expensive and way to extravagant, but when I put that thing on I felt like a million bucks. So I bought it. I now am constantly on the look out for outtings or events that would necessitate such a fancy thing, and I rarely come up with anything, but boy when I do, look out.


I wore the dress on my 25th birthday I think. Maybe 26? No I think it was 25. Anyway, I put it on and stood in front of the mirror and it occurred to me that this just might be the best I'll ever look. Which I know sounds morbid, but I felt great about my figure, I loved the dress, I was tan and my hair was even cooperating. I understand that as you get older it's harder to stay in shape the way you want, which I'm figuring out all too quickly, so I just had this content acceptance of enjoying how I looked on that day.

I can't believe this is the best picture I have of the dress that night?! You can't even see my beautiful dress. You can see the cutie snow-boarder I was in love with at the time ... :)


Love is the garment that fits. It's all-purpose and brings out our best. It's that thing that you wear that you feel good in. Now, I am also aware that sometimes love does not feel great or fit well at all, but this scripture tells us to never be without it. I think love is the thing that when you put it on you know it's for something special. There's value and worth in wearing love.


I work in a job where I watch women stand in front of a mirror and just beg for someone to tell them they look good. Fishing for compliments for someone to notice them. Staring at themselves just trying to tolerate whats looking back at them. It's hard to see some days. God love em, sometimes they bring a husband or boyfriend along to just stand there and be miserable and I have to wonder if these men are being punished for something? I know nothing about relationship dynamics, but I know I'm not going to ask a poor guy if these jeans look like they'll stretch and if he could please go find another pair for me in a 4 tall in a huge store of 800 jeans that all look the same to him. LOL. It's people watching at its best.


What we wear is unfortunately such a big big deal to us. Which is why it's so interesting to me that God uses the illustration of putting on love like a garment.


I had a difficult conversation with a friend the other day. We hadn't spoken in awhile and I had some things I just needed to let go. I walked away from the restaurant and sat in my car and thought to myself --- man, forgiveness feels good. I know forgiveness is hard, and it feels like giving in sometimes, and you wonder if people will think less of you because this person wronged you and maybe you're just caving. But God forgave me of so so much. And I think he asks us to extend that to others. Even when it doesn't make sense.


I look hott in my forgiveness outfit. (oh yes, that was hott with two t's) It fits. :)


With that same train of thought, if forgiveness is something that feels good on my shoulders, and flatters everything, then bitterness is like pants that are way too tight. They cut you in half and make you just want to die anytime you sit down. That's what it feels like. Its probably making you more miserable than anyone else.

I'm not really sure what dressing in compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, and discipline looks like, but I'm interested in figuring it out. I really like this scripture. I like that it starts out talking about your new life. I like that with Jesus, everyday is our new life. That means a daily opportunity to wake up and put an outfit together that says something about us. Sometimes I reason in my mind that I cannot go to work today because I have nothing to wear. Please please do not miss out on this life God has brought you to because you think you have none of the above listed things to wear. This verse tells us that God picked out this wardrobe for us. He'll help us get there. Phew. :)

Week 45 --- Mark 10:51-52

“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. The blind man said, “Lord, I want to see.” “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

First of all, I have been living in a world where we hold hands and pray for someone to have restored sight, much like this scripture. My mom has had lots of trouble with her eyes, and this has brought about several surgeries over the years. This past month they discovered a hole in her retina which was causing her to not see things clearly. To correct this they inject a nitrogen gas bubble into her eye, and then she lays face down for 14 days so that the gas bubble will "float" to the back of her eye and apply pressure to the surface, pushing the hole closed. It is a patience-requiring, pride-swallowing, uncomfortable siege towards healing.

Sometimes when God asks us to walk by faith and not by sight, he really really means he wants you to walk by faith and not by sight. Isn't it so wildly amazing and crazy that I asked the same man to restore my mom's sight, as Bartimaeus did in that verse???? I know that's pretty much the basis of our belief in the Bible as truth, but I still think it's pretty amazing that the same God that gave Esther strength, and Bartimaeus faith and Bathsheba forgiveness is the same God that gives me strength and forgiveness and hope. Crazy.

 It seems to me that anytime blindness is mentioned in the Bible, it's always an opportunity for Jesus to perform a miracle. It's sole purpose in being mentioned is to set the scene for God to be glorified. What other obstacles look like that in our lives? The only reason I'm going through this is to set the scene for God to show up and receive the honor for making things right. Hmmmmmm.

All of the equipment that my mom rented to get through this process came from a company who's slogan is "Face Down for a Brighter Tomorrow"... Implying the journey of being face down is providing healing and hope for better eye sight in the future.  

Face down for a brighter tomorrow... I've been struggling a lot lately with believing in the goodness of God. It sounds so awful to even say it out loud. I realized I had a problem when a friend was driving in bad weather on icy roads and asked me to pray for her. I said yes, but in my mind I thought I am the last person you want to ask to pray for something. God will probably teach me about patience or strength by letting something happen to you. I just had this awful feeling that God is not going to do what I ask, He's going to find the hardest way possible for me to learn something. Which is not bad, but it's not fun either.

Once I pinpointed these thoughts going through my head it just broke my heart. And I'm sure it was a slap in the face to God too. But it's how I really felt. I shared with a few friends that I'm tired of finding the silver lining, of looking for the good in the crappy --- I would just like something genuinely and simply good to happen. Not even something big, just something good! I'm still praying through a lot of this. There are so many scriptures that talk about the goodness of God, and a lot of times His goodness is mentioned with His mercy. Not diving into that yet :) Still thinking about it...

So face down to a brighter tomorrow. Goodness of God. Lots of rambling tonight. But I think it might all be related. And this may have all come together for me at a little outting I like to call The Concert Event of a Lifetime.

Oh yes. The Judds Farewell Encore Tour. Not to be confused with The Judds Final tour that occurred 15 years ago. My mom said it best-- that this was "A Once, no Twice in a lifetime opportunity. And we were there both times" She took me to that first tour when I was a kid and it was the first time I'd ever been to a "real concert" :)

As we walked in and started taking pictures with our 'awesome' t-shirt and waited for the show to start I had this feeling of goodness come over me. When the music started I could not help but smile. And I fully and completely understand how lame and random this love of the Judds is --- much like my secret love for this show --- however I just need to own it. My face hurt from smiling so much. That's the best kind of goodness I think.

We put this outting on the calendar so Mom would have something to look forward to after being face down. Even though we had to go through something to get to this point I think it still counts as something good. Maybe making it even more sweeter. To come through something and stand on the other side of it knowing that God's strength and protection helped you get there --- I think that's a taste of His goodness.

So you know that I stood with the entire audience, and you know that I put my hands up in the air, because when they sing Love Can Build a Bridge, you really believe it! And as I stood with my Mom giving each other looks back and forth because we just knew they would end the show with this and we just knew it would be spectacular --- I had this feeling of thankfulness and goodness that this week we're standing here together when the last time I saw her she was still face down, hoping for a brighter tomorrow.

Propping up your awesome Cowboy boots on the empty seat in front of you? Icing on the cake. ;)

The second part I love about this verse is Jesus' question at the beginning.

What do you want me to do for you?

I've been trying to pray whenever the thought enters my head--- that God I want to see your goodness. I want to experience things that leave me know doubt in my mind that you want good things for me. What can you do for me? You can give me the strength to remain confident in that--- even when I don't feel it. You can give me hope to tell others of the goodness I've experienced --- even if I don't fully understand it.

Looking forward to sharing some thoughts on Christmas in the coming weeks! Hope you all are doing well! Beth