Week 36 --- John 8:32

^"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

I've been tossing around the idea that maybe when we're in heaven, they will tell our stories and those stories will make up another Bible for a future generation and world. I have ABSOLUTELY no scriptural standing or references in thinking this, and I am sure I'm breaking some serious rules in even considering that there may be another Bible some day, but I've just been thinking about it. So I'm going with it....

In the Book of Elizabeth Ann Swinney, when my story is read, it will say that on the 16th day of the 9th month of the year 2010, she stopped believing lies, and told the truth. Man it took some living in fear and failure, to get to this point, but God's gentle and gracious leading brought me to a place where I couldn't deny any longer that this is how it needed to happen.

I think we all wonder how important our faith is to us -- and maybe I'm just speaking for me, but I love the Lord and I don't know what I would do without scripture and my body of believers that I'm going through life with --- and I always wonder how much it really means to me. I wonder if I would pick Jesus over my family, over my safety, over my happiness, over my comfort. I am sitting here with a full and thankful heart, because I don't have to wonder anymore, I know that I did. And it's not like God called me to go to Africa or something huge like that, but what he did ask me to do was something I could never picture myself doing. Something that goes against every natural tendency I have.

I am a people pleaser -- nay, THE people pleaser. I will stand on my head and hold my breath and juggle just about anything before I will do something that will upset someone --- and hold your breath --- make them not like me. UGGG. I can hardly type it. But I finally surrendered to the belief that I care about what Jesus thinks of me more than anyone else on this earth. Literally.

So here are my findings about truth. People do not always want to hear it. I know this is an obvious one, and that we all say 'sometimes the truth is hard to hear' ---but sometimes people REALLY don't want to hear it. You will be blamed for it. Lies will be denied and defended. Does that lessen the truth??? Not one bit. 

I thought telling the truth would give me an instant feeling of relief. And that did not happen. I think I felt the weight of it even more as it left my mouth, and even more so as I walked away from the conversation. But let me just tell you, in the days that followed, the feeling of freedom starts to come. And it makes me feel more confident to tell the truth again. And that even if it costs us something, and even if it doesn't feel good at the time, we CAN do it. Whatever 'it' might be. We let truth become an "unknown" in our lives cause we rarely speak it, and don't we all fear the unknown??? Let's make it something that's not scary, because we know it and we love it and we're not afraid of it. 

The night before my conversation was a Wednesday night. All I could think about was the person I pictured on Thursday night. I wanted to be the version that did the right thing. And that said everything that needed to be said. When I thought of the girl that knew what needed to happen, but shyed away, I couldn't stand that person being me. When I pictured the heart that God had been pursuing, but that ignored and disobeyed him, I knew that I would do whatever it took not to be that person. I want to be a girl that listens to God and ACTS on what his word says. When our faith requires our sacrifice or our discomfort I want to be ready. 

I don't know how God will challenge my faith next, and I don't want to walk in fear of the unknown, but I'm trying to use the things I learned here to live my everyday a little more confidently in his grace and truth. Do you know that nothing can separate us??? There is absolutely no truth you can put out on the table that he will reject you over. Man his goodness shocks me sometimes.

Loving life as a person who has been set free,
Beth