Week 43 --- Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I've been studying with an amazing group of ladies for a few weeks now, and we have been wading through task of addressing our thoughts. And I'm not talking about what we think about current events, or what we think about issues and debates --- we have been trying to figure out what our thoughts look like towards ourselves. What do you say to yourself on your bad days? What do you think about when you're feeling like you can't do anything right? We're learning that the things we think about --- and the way we speak to ourselves is incredibly important.

I started this journey of figuring out how I talk to myself a few summers ago. I was meeting with two great friends and we were desperately trying to figure out what this study meant for our lives. I remember the study prompting us to figure out 3 lies that we tell ourselves. Now these women that I was meeting with are two of the strongest, kindest, bravest, God-chasing, wonderful women I have ever met, and in an honest moment all three of us shared that we think we are not good enough. Uggggggg. Just typing it hurts my heart. In that moment I was so confused, because I knew that I was pretty sure that I was not good enough, but how could they feel that way too? It turns out a lot of us feel this way. I struggled with not feeling good enough to do ministry, not good enough to be taken seriously, not good enough to be loved.....the list could go on and on ---- but there is truth that shines the light on everything I just said and that is that it's all lies. But isn't that alarming that the way we think about ourselves so easily falls towards the negative?? I think tacking the word "enough" on the end of something is the perfectionists perfect storm. It's pretty, but it's not pretty enough. It was a nice evening, but it wasn't nice enough. They should like this gift, but is it thoughtful enough? See where I'm going? We could exhaust ourselves permanently just worrying about the "enough". Here's some good news. Jesus never asked us for perfection, our love for Him and our desire to be with Him is what gives us value.

We have some opportunities to get our thoughts in line with this truth. That's what we are trying to figure out in the bible study I'm in now, and I think part of the conclusion we've come to is keeping our minds sharp. One idea we had was to memorize the verse that I've posted this week. The Bible gives us a list of things that are helpful to think about. Who doesn't appreciate the simplicity of a list???? Thank you! Just tell me exactly what to think about. Love it. 

I'm still working on memorizing it completely ---- but I have a pretty good grasp of what the words are that I'm supposed to be thinking about. I don't do them in the right order, but I've been trying to think about an example of each thing when I'm stressed or nervous or dwelling on something that I have no business thinking about or worrying in general. I'm taking those thoughts captive by replacing them with things from this list.

Something that is True:

Jesus loves me. He thinks that I am worth it. He took a risk on me, and would do it again and again. He loves me without make-up, when I'm an insecure blubbering mess, when I'm stubborn and mean, and when I'm terrified and lost. It's true. And that's something to think about.

Something that is Noble:

Hahaha so I know I have probably overstated my love for Robin Hood --- but on my vacation last week this movie happened to be playing off and on on TV throughout the trip. It was like a little gift. :) I've always been a sucker for chivalry. A man fighting for what's right. A man fighting to defend me. That is noble and honorable. There's a scripture that talks about how Jesus lives to intercede for us. He LIVES to step in and fight for me. That is a noble thought. It also challenges me to look for noble characteristics in men around me. Men that are respectful, kind and acting with integrity. All noble thoughts.

Something that is Right:

Something that is right --- I struggled with this one. When I think of right, I think of fair -- and then my thoughts go straight to how ridiculously unfair life can be --- see how quickly I jump to the negative?? yikes. Something right is knowing what the right thing to do is, and doing it. It might not be popular or widely accepted, but doing the right thing, is a good thing. I also think of how fearfully and wonderfully made we are and how Christ makes us "right" simply by loving us. We are unique and special by His redeeming love -- there's a certain rightness to our wrongness if you know what I mean? :)

Something that is Pure:

"...as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."  The East to the West is incredibly far. :) I was so struck by that when looking out at the horizon and not being able to see where it ends. That's how high and deep and wide and huge his love is for us. He takes our trangressions (which are the sins that we knew better, and did them anyway) and separates us from them as far as the east is from the west. He is what makes us pure. Purity. A good thing to think about. 


Something that is Lovely:

Time spent with a friend. It's just lovely. Time spent away relaxing and recuperating. A calm before the craziness of the holidays. It's wonderful. Also Chik-fil-A waffle fries and Diet coke on the beach are pretty great too. :)

Something that is Admirable:

The single life is hard my friends. And I am so thankful for my friend Lindsey that I have to go through this with --- it's good to have someone that understands the hard parts.  It's incredibly lonely, it's pride-swallowing, it's self-doubting, it's heart-breaking ---- but dressing up and looking amazing and holding your head high on your 30th birthday as a fully-loved and blessed woman --- that's admirable. Love you Lindsey.

Something that is Excellent:

A really good book. I love TV and movies and internet as much as the next person. But a book that you can't put down.....ahhhhhhhh.... it's great. Maybe even excellent. These books are particularly fun --- the middle picture is an awful look for me, but I'm trying to convey the suspense I'm feeling while reading these page-turners!

Something that is Praiseworthy:

He knew I'd be standing on the beach at this moment on this day. I think Jesus puts things in our paths to catch our attention to see if he can get us to smile. He is so good to us and so worthy of our praise.

Do you want to play along??? If you're struggling with your thought life or want a challenge, add a few of your good thoughts to this post. Don't feel like you have to do all the words listed, but it's kind of fun to think of examples of the things that scripture tells us to think about.

Hope everyone is having a good week!!! Beth

Week 42 --- Ephesians 4:29

Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.

Week 41 --- Hebrews 6:19-20

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf."

this is from my Florida Beach trip--- more pictures to comes soon :) :)

I can't ignore the hope that keeps coming up in my life. In fact, 2009 was my year of hope. It guided me through a crazy crazy year. Let me give you a little tour.... 

It all started with Luke 24:20 ---^"The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; ²¹but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel."

Does that just hit your heart?? "but we had hoped" ... how many times do we hope for things that don't work out the way we planned? I got this new job, and I had really hoped it would change things.... I had hoped this relationship would be better.... I had hoped you'd change your mind.... It's such a cycle, we put our hope in things on earth that have no power to heal or help us. I listened to a man speak on this passage and he absolutely changed my way of thinking. He said that we all think of hope as being something very future-based. We're looking forward, which me might call hopeful. Or we're hoping for good things to come. Here's where is gets amazing --- he challenged us to think of hope as something that's already happened, which is more something in our pasts. Not that hope doesn't influence our future too, but if hope is something that has already happened, that takes the pressure off the cycles of hope and dissappointment we get ourselves into. Our hope is in Jesus who died on the cross to save us from our sins, that hope is permanent and unchanging, it has happened and with that as our past, nothing can shake us.

The full message is amazing, and if you are in a place where you feel a little hopeless, take the 30 minutes to listen to this:

(still trying to get the link to post ... check back for this soon!)

2009 continued on after I redefined my idea of hope and I found myself in the Appalachian mountains working with some students in the poorer areas of the state of Kentucky. I was helping one of the students put together a devotional thought to share and we were talking about hope. We were sitting in a kitchen area with lots of people coming and going, we were asking others what they thought about hope and if there were any ideas or scriptures that really spoke to them. The man that runs the mission there (Hi Kevin!) had walked through earlier and we had asked him these same questions... he came back a little later and confidently told us "and hope does not dissappoint" Romans 5.

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. ³Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵And hope does not disappoint us,

Romans 5 is now one of my absolute favorite passages of scripture and I could read that whole chapter everyday just to remind myself of what Jesus has done for us and what he wants to do for us. I kind of named the blog after that chapter in fact.

So I know that hope is something that I have in Jesus, and I know that his word tells me that His hope will never dissappoint me. Aren't we all looking for something to cling to that will never disappoint us?? Hope. Hope in Jesus. Hope because of Jesus.

So this year I'm reading through some past Bible studies I have done and I come accross a lesson on the Tabernacle of all things. The Tabernacle from the Old Testament is often one of those scripture passages that we skip over, it's hard to understand and there's so many details that we just don't get. I have discovered that the Tabernacle in summary is a picture of God's incredible desire to be with us -- it was constructed so that the Israelites would have a place where God could dwell.

Well so many New Testament scriptures tie to this and that is where I find my verse this week.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf."

The author spoke to the connection that there is between hope and soul. She challenged that when we really feel sick, right down to our very souls, it's most often because we find ourselves feeling hopeless. I've been thinking about this and I really believe its true.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul

Mind -- Makes me think of loving God with my thoughts, how I think, my intellect, my reasoning. (This one is the hardest for me...)

Heart -- Makes me think of feelings, it's a choice to love, but loving with your heart is an emotional thing for me, it's a protective, secure and affectionate feeling toward God.

Soul -- Here's where I'm not as sure. I think loving the Lord your God with all your soul has to do with belief. Do you believe that was He says is true? Do you believe God? More than just having a belief of Him? I think our belief that He is who He says He is provides a great amount of hope. I defenitely think hope and soul are closely tied.

I'm spending some time at the ocean this weekend. And let me just tell you, the waves never stop. Aren't we all looking for an anchor, firm and secure, that is constant throughout never-ending waves? I don't foresee life suddenly getting easier and free of white-capped waves, so the solution is finding the anchor.

Let these verses just wash over you and see if you find a little hope for your soul... :)

Psalms 42:5

Why, my soul, are you downcast?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

Psalms 62:5

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;

my hope comes from him.

Psalms 119:81

My soul faints with longing for your salvation,

but I have put my hope in your word.

 

Psalms 130:5

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,

And in His word I do hope.

Proverbs 24:14

In the same way, wisdom is sweet to your soul.

If you find it, you will have a bright future,

and your hopes will not be cut short.

Hebrews 6:19

We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It's an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us...

Week 40 --- Proverbs 19:20-21

Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a woman's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

Listen to advice and accept instruction.....why is that so difficult?!?

When I read this verse I'm really challenged by the "many are the plans in a woman's heart" ---- and wondering why scripture doesn't just come right out and say "beth, why don't you stop trying to control and plan everything" I think the hard part of this is that it's hard for me to picture what life looks like when I give up control. I listened to a fantastic lesson on this by Andy Stanley called "The Best Question Ever" if you're looking for a little mid-week pick-me-up teaching :)

(If you like that clip, you can find the whole series on a free itunes podcast -- it was life changing for me)

But back to the issue of control. I've been thinking a lot lately about the my issues of pride. I was telling a friend about my thoughts on pride, and I said that I think all sins might be traced back to pride -- which apparently other people have already noticed, haha "pride is the root of all evil" etc. So my thoughts were not new or ground-breaking, but at least they are starting to get really real to me.

I was so blessed this past week. Sitting in a group of Christian women, as people really start to open their hearts to each other. I think when someone shares a truth and is fully expecting stones to be thrown at them, and instead receives understanding and grace and love -- man, we're gaining some ground there. And by we I mean us and Jesus. Praise him!

The life that God asks us to seek after is one that trusts that His purpose will prevail. His purpose. Just let that weight come up off your shoulders. You do not have to run the show. You are not responsible for keeping everyone happy. You are not able to save yourself, even if you try. His purpose is that we would love Jesus and live a life that makes other people want to know him more too. All this time and energy we spend on stuff that just makes us feel more drained and more empty at the end of the day -- can you just let it go???

Less pride. More purpose. :)

Week 39 --- Psalm 139:23-24

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

I think I've mentioned I'm a student of anxiety....it's something that just plagued me for the longest time. I think it was fed by insecurity, fear, and hopelessness but wherever it came from it got to me for a long time. I've decided that anxiety is just part of a train, so go with me -- I think it looks like this:

What if? --> Anxiety --> Fear --> Dread ---> Miserable Beth

I start with a 'what if' situation or even just a nervousness about something. I allow myself to consider all the possible things that could go wrong. All the possible things that could happen and hurt through any given situation. I base none of this on fact, I base it on what if.

This leads to anxiety, and praise Jesus, this is where I recognize it now, and stomp my feet [i'll explain this in a bit :)]. If we are walking with the Lord, this is where we give Him our unknowns, and if His spirit prompts us to really be at unrest about something, we can take action on that. But usually for me it's my insecurity about work, or about relationships, or about a conversation, and not something that has any reason to give me anxiousness. I read a book a few years ago called "Calm my Anxious Heart" and now that I think about it I'm going to dig it out and review it again.... a part that stuck out to me was her illustration about what to do when anxiety "flares up" She was traveling by secret train, alone in a foreign country to meet with Christians that were experiencing religious persecution to lead a bible study. She revealed that she had felt quite a bit of anxiety in those moments....you think????? I remember reading that thinking, Lady, my anxiety is different than your anxiety. I'm needing to know what to do with the feelings I have on an every other day basis...what if I don't have enough money....what if no one ever wants me.... I'm not traveling by secret train in the dark of night...I'm just trying to get through my very normal day. If anxiety is unchecked it just gets worse.

And this brings us to fear. I think once we allow ourselves to consider all the terrible options, and even let those feelings start to overwhelm us it brings us to a point of legitimate fear. This is where it starts to interfere with really leading the life that God wants for us. Do you know that in scripture it tells us more than anything else "do not fear" or "do not be afraid" or "fear not". More than it tells us to love or to trust it tells us not to be afraid. That's big. It's like Jesus knew we would encounter this :)

Dread is the final stop of the train. This is where I have convinced myself that my notions and nervousness, my moments of heart-beating faster concern, my fears of whatever --- I now believe it -- and I'm just waiting for it to happen. Can you hear the misery in that?? Friends this is no way to live. Get off the train!!

I mentioned that I stomp my feet when I get anxious and let me tell you why -- I have a verse that I say anytime I feel even the slightest bit of worry. I fully believe saying it out loud gives it even more power and usually this is enough to settle my soul. If in fact I still feel anxious, I stomp my feet and say the verse out loud. It says in the Bible that the God of peace will soon crush Satan underneath our feet -- I believe that anxiety and worry come straight from Satan and he uses them to mess with our minds --- and I tell him that he is under my feet! That he's not going to get me on this one! I stomp out of frustration and I take it out on the devil, and it works!!

I had an evening of worry and anxiety come out of nowhere a few months ago and my best friend called me in the middle of it. I was crying and inconsolable. I told her I'd been marching back and forth in my little apartment saying scripture aloud and stomping my feet. I'm sure I appeared crazy to anyone who would have seen me, but friends I have victory in Jesus over anxiety and worry! Who cares what it looks like!? :)

Search my heart and know my anxious thoughts. God, help me know the root of why I'm worried about something. Test me. Help me. I like that this verse implies that anxiety is offensive. It is, isn't it?? :) I think that if the train that starts with worry and anxiety and ends up at dread is going one way, the exact opposite direction is headed towards a life everlasting. He'll lead us there. Search my heart God, know my struggles, help me get where you want me to go.

Week 38 --- 1 Timothy 1:15

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen."


Haha -- do you find yourself needing unlimited patience as much as I do??


What an encouraging thought -- that even in our most challenging moments, not only does Christ forgive and heal and love us -- but he uses it as an example to others of His unlimited patience. Oh if my failures would be used for someone to see Jesus' mercy--- I think I start to see his redeeming power through that.


I had never heard this verse before. I was at a church in Virginia a few weeks ago and the pastor taught on several meaningful verses, but this is the one I walked away with. Paul thought he was the worst of sinners -- which is funny, because I thought I had that competition pretty much wrapped up for the worst sinner. "But for that very reason, I was shown mercy" -- does that just make you love Him even more? We look at our failures and say we are a lost cause, He looks at our shortcomings and sees an opportunity to show his incredible mercy. We tell ourselves we aren't good enough, He looks at us and patiently shows us He loves us. 


Found some oldies but goodies on my camera this last week --- look at this family! Don't you just love em? This is at a dive restaurant somewhere between my parent's house and the State Fair. We had not considered how many small town businesses shut down on Sundays, and this was literally one of the only places open.

Mom and I rockin out at the Martina McBride concert :)

Week 37 --- Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

The phrase in this verse "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith" is one of my go-to verses. Someone once challenged me to picture Jesus above me, holding my face in both of his hands saying 'just keep looking at me' -- 'don't look at what they're doing or listen to what they're saying' -- 'just keep looking at me'. Anytime I'm stressed about things that are happening in my life, I think about the verse and fixing my eyes right on Jesus.

I was so encouraged when I went to look up the exact reference for this verse, because it also includes the phrase about being surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. And let me tell you, I have a great cloud of witnesses. I think that scripture is probably referring to the angels and christians that have gone before us in this statement, but I think it can also mean the friends and support we find around us on any given day.

Last month, I did something that was so hard for me, but with the shared strength of my friends rallying around me, it wasn't as scary. I needed to have a difficult conversation with someone. I had a friend praying in the parking lot of the place it would occur in the next day. I had another friend pick me up and drive me there and pray with me before I went it. I had yet another friend pick right up afterwards and pray guarding thoughts for my mind in the hours after I was done. So many people just surrounding me with love and support --- kinda makes you feel like you can throw off everything that hinders you and run with perseverance huh? :) 

I've been thinking about our cloud of witnesses a lot lately. I think if we don't find ourselves in the middle of this, we should drop everything and find one. We are designed to need one another and I'm pretty sure Satan could not be any happier than when he finds us off on our own -- isolated--- and without a cloud of witnesses surrounding us. I know I am most vulnerable when I'm left to my own thoughts and to be honest, pity, sometimes. Ugggg. Just some thoughts. 

I recently went on a little East coast adventure :) Here are some highlights ... 

If you are going to get yourself up at the crack of dawn to catch a flight, it is so darn wonderful to have something to look forward to during your travels. My "something to look forward to" is Caribou Coffee at Minneapolis International and an ipod full of Dr. Quin episodes. Perfection I tell you. :)

 

Francine Rivers. You stayed away so long!! Carrying this 20 pound book around in my purse may have given my back permanent trauma, but it was so worth it to have a page-turner to look forward to for my down time.

First stop in the south. Chik-fil-A. Milkshake and Waffle fries. :)

 

This is my friend Jeanne and her daughter Jessica. We are very much like modern day pen pals and don't get to see each other very often. Part of my trip was visiting her and her family and seeing their new home and catching up. Such a blessing! Shared experiences and digging through life to find grace--- we have so much in common and I'm so thankful for this friendship that came from such an unlikely place. It's that cloud of witnesses again and I am so thankful!

 

"Chocolate Drink" Not milk, drink. HAHA --I'd never tried Yoohoo. Lot's of firsts on this trip :)

 

Sitting on the beach with my book, ipod, diet coke and sour gummy worms. Such a great day -- the clouds rolling in messed with my plans a little bit, but still a wonderful time to listen to the waves and relax.

 

Spending time with my Dad. He was working for quite a bit of the time we were out there, but our windshield time in the car was so great. Dreaming about life and ministry. It almost breaks my heart how much my dad loves me. We drove for an hour to eat breakfast by the ocean and he had been looking forward to that for several days. When we got to the little cafe he insisted I sit on the side of the table that looked over the water, even though he'd been the most excited about eating on the beach. He's so good to me.

 

While I was away, I missed a very special day for another very special person in my cloud of witnesses. My friend Autumn and her husband and family came into my life exactly when I needed it most. I think God has a hand in the timing of those things :)